angel tree

one year on the rez
i picked a boy and girl’s name
from the angel tree
bought them winter jackets
hats gloves
a play outfit
and jammies
a week after Christmas
was surprised to see
my niece and nephew
wearing the clothes i bought
i just said
‘nice jacket’
and they smiled.
--nila northSun

me and my daughter, mishon at bman 2011

 

6 years of yesterday

deep inside a howling darkness
her forearms are sliced
the skin spread
sown back with
thick thread
6 years of yesterday
hidden
under the bed.

5 card stud

he wanted to learn how
to play poker
i said we needed whisky
and cowboy hats
5 card stud
7 card draw
2's 4's and one-eyed jacks wild
i think after a while
i was making up rules
no peekee no lookee
i forget the one where you
stick a card on your forehead
beginner's luck as he
raked in the chips
i didn't mention strip poker
as we both
look better covered up.

emme

in her small newborn skull
and along her graceful spine
a bacteria grows
an inflammation between
skull and brain
that make her eyes see thru you
no longer focusing
that make her tiny limbs
convulse in baby tremors
that leave her fevered
and unresponsive to
the lumbar puncture
bacterial meningitis
the doctor says
and you are left
with your god of choice
or none at all.

reminiscent of 100 things to do before you die poem

100 things I’ve done (and haven’t done)

1. scuba dived in lake tahoe
2. sky dived with a chute I packed
3. co-starred in a movie
4. written 5 poetry books
5. wrote one tribal history book
6. wrote over $3 million in grants
7. started an emergency shelter for teenagers
8. dealt with child sexual abuse cases
9. stayed in a woman’s shelter
10. did a smudge and eagle wing blessing on Alcatraz
11. drank kalua at kahlua
12. ate puppy at sundance
13. ate beignets in new Orleans
14. met campaigning senator obama twice
15. met michelle first lady once
16. been to burningman 10 years in a row
17. read poetry at the bowery in nyc
18. sat in emergency room multiple times
19. ridden a horse bareback
20. ridden a bike topless
21. birthed 3 children
22. aborted 2
23. miscarried 1
24. never been in a car accident
25. broke my ankle falling off a milk crate
26. never danced on a table top
27. developed my own black and white photos in the bathtub
28. saw buffalo from my bedroom window
29. made my own red wine
30. made candles as xmas gifts
31. went thru a beadwork phase
32. constructed brick patios and paths
33. roofed the old house
34. plumbed the kitchen faucet
35. built bird houses
36. watched a Mexican nightsky while on acid
37. watched the northern lights from my porch in Montana
38. got married 4 ½ times
39. photographed 25 elders on the flathead/Kootenai reservation
40. rode an elevator with cher
41. pine nut danced with my granddaughter
42. raised ducks
43. went pine nutting with my gramma
44. taken 3 basket weaving classes with 3 different tribes
45. learned how to do quill work
46. had a 3 legged dog-lucy
47. read hundreds of books
48. walked 15 miles in the desert
49. never changed a tire
50. served on a charter school board of directors
51. served on the Nevada state arts council
52. appointed by governor to women’s commission
53. did 4 countries in a week and a half (spain, france, italy, Greece)
54. got on stage with kris Kristofferson and gave him dad’s number
55. lived near the beach
56. lived next to a lake
57. went fly fishing in the sierras
58. shot a rabbit when I was 13, never shot anything since
59. owned a 5 ft iguana
60. owned 2 boa constrictors
61. first car was a 49 ford
62. took one violin lesson
63. took a half dozen accordion lessons
64. made homemade peach ice cream
65. built raise bed gardens
66. built deer fences
67. tried to save a hit baby doe
68. went to too many teen funerals
69. ‘pegged’ the odometer of every car I’ve owned
70. fell in love with an Australian cowboy
71. dug a 6 foot hole in clay dirt looking for broken water pipe
72. made strawberry crepes
73. ate alligator and kangaroo
74. broke up 2 fights
75. got a tattoo from lyle tuttle
76. got hepatitis at the rocky horror show
77. saw the rolling stones 3 times
78. ate fire
79. got bit by a lizard
80. got poison oak too many times
81. stayed at crash pads in the haight/ashbury
82. sang karoke in a gay bar
83. picked wild blackberries
84. had a wedding procession on top of a giant green penis car
85. married a mormon
86. did mosaics
87. dressed up as santa for the grandkids
88. did the Puerto Vallarta crawl with my cousin for my birthday
89. saw a ghost fox
90. raised funds for a food bank
91. got a thank you letter from a previous social service client
92. was ‘san quentin indian princess’ for inmates
93. rode in limousine looking at xmas lights
94. never been in a hot air balloon
95. went lake kayaking
96. corresponded for years with david lindley
97. bought Navajo jewelry with a german black marketeer
98. recorded indian stories from elders
99. tried glassblowing once, but it was too hot and heavy
100.bought my mother a diamond ring

jails

reading about the guy
who 65 year sentence was
pardoned in one state
who then moved to another
and killed 4 cops
or the ones who get released
just to murder weeks later
on and on it goes
the jails and prisons overflow
people are mean and crazy
and it makes me wonder
what did the indians do in the old days?

tribes were somewhat small
maybe a thousand or two
and they depended on each member
contributing to the whole community
everybody having roles
hunters, warriors,
medicine men
women doing most of the work
chopping wood
setting up camp
cooking
skinning hides
making clothes and pots
grammas watching grandchildren
youth modeling adult behaviors
and what if somebody
acted bad?
did something that was understood taboo?
frequently ostracized
kicked out of the tribe
set to wander among wolves and
enemy tribes that could enslave them
or if they did something really bad
maybe beat them to death
done deal
their were no jails
but mainly there were few that every
acted bad
they would be shamed
values and morals of the village were strong
in order for the whole to survive
each human important
but now
people act independently
looking out for only themselves
greed sets in
taking money and lives from each other
'sad sad' as my grandmother would say
as the jails fill with indians too.