Friday, December 19, 2008

surviving mi familia during the holidaze

jeepers creeps how i miss them
my parents
my children
the aunties and uncles
my nephews and nieces
the ex-sister-in-laws
the 2nd cousin first removed
the ex-3rd cousin remarried
the 'they've been around my whole life
so they must be relatives'
& we even adopted a blonde
& a redhead
who are now off to college
the adopted ones
doing 'the best' from the
natural borns
says alot for genetics

& i missed them until
the 'drama' as the kids like to say
starts in
each room a different conversation
a different direction
and when you walk down the hall
you get side swiped
& by gossipy osmosis
information gets moved about
what was
a minute ago
is not

until a tension
an irritation sets in
& i just want them to take their presents
& go home
or i want to take my gift certificates
& go home
i don't want to be an orphan
or a hermit
just right now
just until a peace can settle in
& i'll miss them again.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

happy hour xmas shopping

trying to get a 'leg up' on
the impending holiday rush
decided to take a half day off
from work
drive the 72 miles from this
small town of cowboys & auto dealers
to the biggest little city of
malls & super K-marts
wearing good walking shoes
credit cards clutched firmly
lists of family & friends
& i'm off

clothes for the teen girls
skater pants for the boys
soaps, candles, & spa stuff
for co-workers
show tickets for old aunts
who have enough clutter
ankle bracelets for son's girlfriends
a pretty good roll for 5 hours
then to take a break with friends
happy hour
5 to 6:30
a chardonnay buzz
then a plunge into the malls
big mistake
bags later
driving home by midnight
next morning assessing
the stupid presents wine bought
'rudolph the red-nosed reindeer' boxer shorts
with battery powered light up nose
strategically placed
chocolate champagne truffles
a hot pink sweater trimmed in
hot pink feathers (not machine washable)
a diamond ring shaped
like a horse shoe
& those were
all for me!
screw everybody else
i deserve a treat
i'm my own best santa claus!
just leave the spiked eggnog
next to the cookies
& no telling what i'll put
in your stocking.

(this is actually a reprint from 2000)