potty training

had grandson with me last nite
his diaper rash creating an
agitated red scrotum
(oh, that sounds like the name
of a band)
so decided to start
potty training efforts
left his diaper off
so he could air out
and be cognizant of peeing
sat him on the potty chair
and said ‘pee’
he did not

but the little bugger peed 5 times
in 3 hours on my carpet
and shit once
luckily it wasn't diarrhea
again tried to get him to sit
on the potty
but nothing would happen
except one time
a little dribbled in the pot
most hit the floor
the rest of the time he at least
verbalized ‘peepee’ as he ran toward
the bathroom or as he stood there
with the stream soaking his foot

his pee stains graffiti my rug
running lines or small lakes
criss cross the living room
i wanted to with hold any beverage
but decided being dehydrated
did not constitute potty trained

I handed him diapered
back to his mother
knowing tomorrow
I’d buy a rug shampooer.